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The first thing I do is pull off my helmet as soon as the bike is on the side stand. This way they can see my bald head, know I am an old fart and go from there.
I produce my documents without reaching inside my jacket chest pocket, I know that gives them the creeps, so I keep then on the bike, in that useless fairing compartment.
And the best excuse ie. most effective, I have ever used was...No I wasn't watching my speed Officer, I was watching the road for deer and am on my way to a house call for a client who's St. Bernard has hemorhaggic diarhoea. :shock: That got his attention, and he waved me on.
Thankyou Officer.
 

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rocketdoc said:
I produce my documents without reaching inside my jacket chest pocket, I know that gives them the creeps, so I keep then on the bike, in that useless fairing compartment.
Well then, not useless after all, eh?
 

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Don't the cops get nervous when they see you banging on the fairing and cussing up a storm trying to get the f*****g pocket open??? :lol:
 

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I usually say "You bunch of B*st**ds, why dont you F### Off and plague someone else", then when they actually get out of the car and aproach me, I take off my helmet and say "Sorry, your quite right, I was'nt paying enough attention to my speed, and I'm usually so carefull, you look far to young to be a policeman, do you moisturise??"..
 

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rocketdoc said:
The first thing I do is pull off my helmet as soon as the bike is on the side stand. This way they can see my bald head, know I am an old fart and go from there. <snip>.
My *exact* strategy as well which I'm sure has saved me a few times, but only when the officer is also, ahem, a "little older." :lol: (Once, my BMW saved me as the officer liked BMWs) Then, I start acting all humble, polite and stupid, the latter requiring no acting. :oops: I had a "good run" at one time with this strategy, was even let off once doing 1.05 tonnage and once doing .95 tonage, but I've paid for it dearly since. I have slowed down considerably these past 3.5 years as a result, and I'll still be paying for the ones I did get for the next two years, though I have "room" for one more "Duesy", demerit-points wise.
 

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Well I would say ooo mr policeman, what a big helmet you have. My mascara's just got smudged. Does my bum look big in these leathers? :roll: :roll:

No of course I wouldn't. I've been working far too long in the promotion of equality of opportunity to be so blatantly sexist and if that means I have to have some points and a whopping big fine, then I absolutely expect to be dealt with as harshly as you big boys. :wink:

Now I want to leave this thread. Could one of you kindly open the door for me? :roll:
 

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Dont be a smart arse :roll: that generally lights my touch paper straight away - to be honest on a lot of occassions the choice of ticket or not has been made before you even get to speak , depending on how bad the offence is/was .
That said i wouldnt say anything till i figure out how things are going to go - just hope you havent been stopped by an absolute nazi ( there are a few ) and that common sense will prevail :eek:
 

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O for the good old days before retirement, when I too, sported a badge and case, wherein lived my license. Never got a ticket, which ticked off my wife soooo bad. Now, good eyes, many checks to the rear view mirrors, and don't let 'er rip if there's any other vehicles on the road. Since I live in one of the least populous states, that happens more often than you would expect.
 

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Keep your hands where they can be seen. Tell him what you're doing, like getting your wallet. All papers are in my wallet.

I keep my hands on the wheel, in a car, and move slowly. Always comply. Remember, he's got a gun and a club, and some like to use them.

On the bike, I remove helmet, maintain eye contact, answer questions reasonably, and try to keep control of the situation.

I never whine, make a lot of chit-chat, or try to BS my way out of the ticket. Usually, he's already made up his (or her) mind before they talk to you. Anything you say might make it worse.

In Texas, you have to present your concealed carry permit when you show your drivers license. You have to inform the officer if you're carrying or not.

I'm very careful of where I break the speed limit. Rural backroads are patrolled less frequently, and you can catch a break sometimes if you're not going WFO. Be warned, if you run in Texas, it can be a nasty situation if you get caught. It really pisses 'em off. At best, a BIG fine. More likely, you get your eyes beat shut, and a BIG fine. I've never run, and probably won't, now that I'm old. Did I say old? I meant older. :lol:
 

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OK red2, a question for you ('cause you're in Texas).
Here's the story as it was related to me. I'm wondering if it's close enough to true to tell others (ignore the fact that this is a public forum, and I've just told all the list memebers):
Back in the day, the list of requirements to be a Texas State Trooper read:
Male
6'2" or taller
250 pound minimum weight
10% or less body fat
400 pound minimum bench press
All the other regular cop stuff.
8)
The womens groups got all upset, so the requirements were reviewed, and Male was struck from the list.
The womens groups complained some more, claiming 'The average woman can't meet those requirements.'
The powers that be smiled and nodded and replied, "Neither can the average man."
 

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Liz: love your picture, before and after, and all the stories you people think up when confronted by the law.
ride safe
 

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Grandma's quote

My Grandmother, rest her soul, told an Indiana State Trooper, "Why, I didn't know they had N****r officers." and she did not get a ticket. This was back in the early 70's.
But I :shock: don't think that would work for most people.
Bruce
 

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Wess, there might be something to that.

The last time I got stopped on a bike, I was blasting some twisty backroads. I rounded a turn and there sat a black and white Texas Department of Public Safety Ford Crown Victoria cruiser. He hit the rollers and I pulled over.

He must have played college football. I'm guessing 6 foot, 225 lbs, wide shoulders, thick neck. No fat. You know, a linebacker.

The first words out of his mouth, I swear, were, "You caused me to miss my favorite country song."

I said nothing. I didn't really know how to reply to that. Thinking the worst, I handed over my license and proof of insurance. He says nothing else. Starts writing. In the uncomfortable silence.

Finally, I asked, "This is not a warning, is it?"

Silence from the gray uniformed linebacker. Cowboy hat, shiney Justin roper boots, shiney pistol belt, and I believe a .45 semi auto, some kind of 1911. Finally, he finishes up. He presents the ticket pad, and says, "I'm issuing you a warning for 70 in a 55. Sign here. Slow it down."

I said, "Thanks, officer," and gladly signed the warning.

We go our separate ways, and I'm immensly relieved. Good thing he wasn't five miles closer; I was doing 130 mph just a couple of mintues before. Dodged a bullet that time!
 

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How about "after" your visitation and invitation? One of my cousins sent me a note saying to contact the court and find out what our fine is, then overpay it by $5.00 or so. The county has no way to deal with an overage, so they must refund you the difference. When you get the refund check, don't cash it. Because there is an outstanding problem with the fine payment, the ticket is not released from the court and the points will not be attached to your license.
I don't know if it works, but if it does it would give some a way to keep the points from their license.
Of course, the best way is to not get caught...or not do anything that would arouse suspicion. :wink:
 

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That might hold some truth if every courthouse kept their books the same way, but we all know that's an impossibility.
 
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