FJR Owners Forum banner
  • Hey Everyone! Enter your bike HERE to be a part of this months Bike of the Month Challenge!
1 - 20 of 37 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The topic say's General Chat, so for what it's worth, here it goes. I posted this on another FJR board earlier today. I guess it's a bit selfish of me to put this out again in such a manner, but for some reason it works as therapy for me today, and maybe I just need to let someone else who never got the opportunity to meet my friend, know how much she meant to me.

This for the most part is a copy of a e-mail I sent another forum member earlier today. It involves the passing of our dearest and closest friend of 15 years. My wife and I have been married almost 19 years. Four years into our marriage we learned that we could not have children. Shortly after that I found a new puppy. I found her in a muddy and filthy pen behind a trailer, there were several puppies in the very small pen. I was at that time, a claims adjuster and was working a claim on the trailer. I asked about the puppy's and was told they were cocker spaniels. They were a mess and I felt sorry for them all. One cought my eye, she sat alone away from the others, with a look about her that I could not turn away from. It was sorta like I could tell she was thinking....your not gonna pick me. She was the cutest little party color red and white puppy covered in mud and poop, she smelled awful, but I had to have her. I paid the guy 75.00, thinking she probably had worms and would die before long, but I took her to a vet, she got her shots and she has been the absolute light of our life for the past 15 years. I tell you this to lead into the story that unfolds beginning last Saturday, June 3, 2006.

The story picks up here: My fishing trip last weekend in South Louisiana

At about 11:30 a.m. +/- Saturday morning, our guide spotted a very nice redfish swimming along the edge of the grass bank, he pointed it out to me and said you see it? yup, cast over there about 5 ' in front of his nose, which I did. The fish saw the bait and absolutely pounded it, guide said wait......wait.......wait..........ok set the hook.....hard!!! which I did and man the fight was on, water boiling, fish thrashing, rod bent, drag was whining, trying to keep him out of the grass, I was running from front to back of the boat trying to control the fish as best I could, this went on for what seemed to be minutes but I am sure it was not all that long. It was a outstanding battle, from beginning to end, the hunt, the taking of the bait the fight, just absolutely awesome, with out a doubt I have never had something like that come together, it was like art. With time I got the fish all the way to the boat, he was a good 8-10 lb'r rich copper color beautiful fish. As the dip net went into the water, my line went limp, the fish never jumped, or anything, I was looking at him, it was as if the hook just fell out of his mouth. Oh man, my heart just sank, I watched as the big boy simply, gently, swim away, everybody in the boat sighed, even the guide said that was the best fish of the day--hands down. Oh well, it was a great battle and I got all the good out of him, except the frying pan and it made my day and worth every cent of the trip. I felt good!!!

I got back to camp trailer about 12:30, ck'ed my cel phone and saw that my wife had called, she left a message, she was upset and crying, she had called and left a short message about 11:30 (about the time I battled the fish) and said simply that Taz our pet of 15 years had just died on the cool linoleum floor in the kitchen where she liked to lay. I called her back immediately, she said she went fast, that something just wasn't right, she called the vet, he called his office and had someone meet her there w/a fluid pill. She drove up there, got it and drove strait back home, Taz was laying on the floor, she got up and Kellie gave her the pill hidden in a tiny piece of bread (that's how we got her to take her medicine the past couple years) she took it in her mouth, but never swallowed it, she laid down, took a couple gasping breaths and died. I guess she just wanted to wait until one of us was there so she could go.

For some reason I did not sleep good Friday night, very little sleep, I just tossed it up as strange room/different bed, etc. but now I kinda think maybe it was sympathy pains. Kind of a strange little analogy between the passing of our best friend of 15 years and the loosing of the fish-- at almost the same time--I know, but I just found it a bit strange that the timing was so close and the feeling of peace and fun even though the fish got away, I had my fun, and the fish got to live for another day. Usually I get upset at loosing such a nice fish in such a manner, but for some strange reason this time, it did not upset me, in a strange sort of way I felt at ease and was a little happy for the fish, after all I fish down there quite often and have over the years cought many.

The passing of Taz is a very emotional and painful experience and it will take some time. A local man runs a small nonprofit business, he does not make any money at it just enough to cover expenses because of his love for animals, he will cremate Taz and provide a little box w/inscription. Couple hundred dollars and our vet said we could trust him. That is what my wife wants, to put on the mantel w/Taz's picture. So we will meet him this afternoon at 4:30. Taz is now up at her vet's office in the fridge wrapped in her Tasmanian Devil blanket, Taz has slept on this blanket most of her life. It's old and faded but you can still see the Tasmanian Devil print. They will cremate her in the blanket. He will pick her up this afternoon. I can't bare to go see her. I fed her a tiny piece of my sandwich before I left Friday, she gobbled it right down, I petted her and told her by. So that's the way I want to remember her.

Sorry for the dissertation, guess I just needed to tell someone. Thanx for listening, somehow it seems to help. Bye bye Tazzbo!! I sure loved you and will miss you!!!!

Taz had an enlarged heart (which in a ironic way seemed approperate) and she suffered from arthritis, she suffered two broken legs during her 15 year life (those damn squirrels--if she coulda just got one!!). We had her on enalipril for the heart and rimadyl for the arthritis. She was on this medication for the past 2 years. She was our "only child", Her red and white markings were vivid when she was young but faded pale in her old age. I returned from the fishing trip yesterday afternoon. Had a couple Jim Beams and water, her enlarged heart caused her to pant, the house last night was empty and quiet, this will take some time to adjust to. Some people get it, and some just dont. I thought about going on a long ride because that always seems to make me feel better, but my MSF instructor advised us not to ride while something weighs heavy on your heart and mind, you need to concentrate on the riding, not a heavy burden. I rode to work this morning, I kept her off my mind until I got to work. A lump is still in my throat, and a empty place in my heart. We will donate her meds to a local animal shelter, along w/her toys and food and water bowls. Her other bedding other than her taz blanket I guess we will toss out w/the trash--if that aint poignant I dont know what is---I don't think other dogs would want it given the scent, etc. and I don't want other dogs pissing on it to mask her scent, I'd rather just throw the old bedding away. Maybe another puppy someday in the future, I think we need some time to get over this one. I hope the next one will be stumbled upon in the same way I found Taz, just by some odd chance.

Thanx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,358 Posts
Feel for ya, man. Been there with a little different story. Good for sharing.




:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
353 Posts
Poem

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

*****************************************
Liquid . This poem was given to my boys when our 14 year Cocker spaniel had to be put down. Boy did I cry .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,589 Posts
That is a great passage Alman. I think most of us are old enough to have seen Jimmy Stewart eulogize his family pet on Johnny Carson. I teared up every time I saw it.

Those little critters develop a strong bond with humans, and vice versa. Go get another pup someday Donald. You'll know when the time is right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanx guys! it's gonna take a while to get over this loss. We took Taz to our vet Friday, May 26th for boarding while we visited family out of state. I picked her up last Tuesday after work. I did not notice anything wrong right away, but on the way home she usually gets a little more excited the closer we get to home. She knows the route, she's done it many times, but, she did not get excited this time. I thought that a bit strange but she's old now, and I just tossed it aside.

After we got home, I began to notice Taz was a bit out of touch. She seemed to have lost her personality. She seemed to have a blank stare about her, as though she was somehow lost. She still would go outside to do her business, she would drink from her dish, but she would not eat her food. She would eat her treats and some mild table food, but that was all we could get her to eat. We would have to touch her to get her attention if only momentarly, she would follow us, but it wasn't long before she regained that stare. She stared into knowhere, she stared down the dark hall, she stared at the kitchen cabnets, etc. expressionless. These were subtle changes in her behavior to us, I did not think they were all that serious, after all she could stand, walk, do her business, she could drink and eat, but still part of her was gone, and I just don't know where it went or where she was those last few days, she did not seem or act as if she was in any pain. Her hearing was not so well, but she could see pretty well, and she had not lost much weight. I don't know if she may have suffered a stroke or something, my wife said she had a strong heartbeat when she last checked her some 30 minutes before she died. Thanx for your responses, they are truely appreciated!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
426 Posts
The painful truth about pet ownership is that the day you bring them home you sign on for a broken heart. But somehow most owners will let some time pass, then sign on again. It seems that unconditional love from a pet makes it all worthwhile. I've signed on a few times myself and actually look forward to signing on again. Just need a little more time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
949 Posts
Miserable business losing a friend that you shared the quiet small moments with - you do grow close to them. You helped her for as long as you could - thankfully you and your wife were spared the experience of intervening to end suffering.

Hang in there mate - talk to your wife - she will need help too.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,982 Posts
It's good to talk. Our four-legged friends do fill such an important part of our lives, and we can learn so much from them. The unconditional love they give, their belief that we are always doing our best for them, their unconditional wanting to please, their obvious delight at being part of the family. Even harder when they fill a gap that children would otherwise fill. As someone who farewelled our labbie a few years ago, I understand some of the feelings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
We got what's left of her back yesterday evening. She's in a sealed little wooden box, she rests on the mantel now instead of the floor. The box has a place on the front for a picture. So, she's back home now, and in some way it's comforting. That 15 year chapter in our book of life has come to a end.

I still want to know what she was staring at----what it was she saw--that we couldn't those last few days?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
72 Posts
Hang in there Donald.
Been there a few times and know how ya feel.
Last time was about a year ago when we lost our 17 year old friend.
Took a few months and now have signed up with "Rompin Charly"
He's got big shoes to fill...(or chew :roll: )

20Valves is so right when he mentions the mutual bond that develops between us and those little critters.
And when the time is right, I'm sure a new friend will be blessed with your everlasting friendship and love.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
The law of Nature says that dogs hardly live more than 15 years.
My dog - Fred - has been with us for ten years now (since he was born). He is a fantastic companion that shares the good and the bad in our lives.
Now and then I think how hard it will be when he'll die. So, I understand completly what you feel. All my sympathy to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
This should be my final post on this subject:

6/7/06

Thanx for taking the time to read about Taz, it's been therapy for me. I could go on and on about all the old fun young time and years, but I have to find a way to put a end to all this. She is back now and instead of resting on the cool linoleum floor she now rests on our mantel. There she will be close to the fire and warm in winter, and she is closer to the ceiling fan now so she will stay cool in the summer. The house is empty now, just me and wifey. The past couple years due to her enlarged heart Taz panted. We had gotten use to it, sorta like the hum of a ceiling fan, you know it's there but you just don't pay any attention to it anymore, until it stops, then you notice.

My neighbor has several dogs and I called him and he came over last night. His dogs are of all ages and I thought maybe they could use some of Taz's stuff. He got about 3/4 stock bottle supply of Rimadyl, several of her old toys and raw hide chew bones (she had not had those in several years--but they were never opened--I do not know why we still had them), he took what was left of her Nutro Senior food and her bed. I'm keeping a couple little mementos, her stainless water and food bowls and the little blue rubber matt we kept under her bowls, it has a Tasmanian Devil cartoon character print on it. I hope sometime in the future those will come back to use, but rest assured it will be a long time. I'm not convinced as yet I want to ever get attached to another pet like that ever again. If I change my mind, then I will have Taz's bowls to use.

Welp, the fish lost his battle and in the end slipped away, to live on, Taz lost her ultimate battle and in the end slipped away to find that much deserved rest, both at the same time. As selfish as I am to have wanted that fish and to have Taz still here, I know they are both where they rightfully belong. Two hard fought battles going on at the same time, with totally different endings. If I had my way the battle results would have been opposite, the fish in the boat and to come home to my buddy Taz and her wagging tail, what I would give to just pet that precious head and rub those ears just one more time, I'd give her all the treats she could hold. If I had only known she was going to die, I'd never made that trip. I guess it's about time for me to lay this down and move on. Writing about this experience these past few days has seemed to have helped, but I need to try to start getting beyond that stage now. Thanx for listening.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
353 Posts
And inocent victims of. Less we forget, not only soldiers die in wars. How many civilians die each day in that big f*** up in Iraq....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,618 Posts
Didn't know it was impossible to feel compassion for more than one thing at a time, so thanks for filling that gap in our knowledge rcookr1. :roll:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,358 Posts
rcookr1 said:
dude its a dog how about some tears for the guys dying in the war
Piss poor post there, *dude*. Thanks for bringing politics into it. Didn't your mum ever tell you, "if you can't say something nice..." ?

:roll:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
thanx for the support fellow forum, I was not going to reply. It was never my intention to compare my experience with the terrible suffering going on associated with Iraq and the fight against terror and those deep human sacrifices. my post was simply offered as a way to help me deal w/a personal loss.

At the recommendation of another, I bought a current best seller: "Marley & Me". I read it last week. For those who are dog lovers and have lost a loving pet I would recommend you read this book. I throughly enjoyed the read. I could relate a lot w/the author in my personal experience in the aging of my dog and her passing.
 
1 - 20 of 37 Posts
Top