Long story short: tried braking on wet pavement that was contaminated by oil. It's like ice, as soon as my finger touched the front brake lever, the bike collapsed underneath me and went sliding for what seemed like 2 hours and 23.7 minutes. It just went on and on and on until it finally caught a curb that cracked open the alternator housing and pole vaulted the bike into the ditch head first.
I'm fine, no major injuries, just a bruise on my hip and a slight pain at the ribs and a mild concussion. I was wearing full gear, so I just got up and walked away from a 90kph crash. Wear your gear, people!
The takeaway: you can do everything right, take every precaution you should take, and you still end up in the ditch. There are sometimes circumstances that are completely out of your control and you can do absolutely nothing about them.
The bike is a complete write off with all that damage. No insurance as there is no other party involved and you can't get full overage for a 15 years old vehicle, so I'm fooked - no bike and no money.
Oh, and one more thing.. frame sliders SUCK. Had the bike actually landed on its side fairings, it would have had much more contact surface with the road and would have stopped much sooner. But it was sliding on the frame slider and it didn't really slow the bike down at all.