The lighter side of life, laughter - Page 2 - Yamaha FJR Forum : Yamaha FJR Owners Forums
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post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old 09-17-2018, 11:14 PM Thread Starter
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Joke of the day,
What's the difference between unlawful, and illegal ?
ill eagal, is a sick bird
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post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old 09-18-2018, 09:20 AM
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Got one joke that makes you laugh no matter how many times you see or hear it? I do....

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13...."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting, "14...14...14...14...."

Russ
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post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old 09-30-2018, 11:45 PM
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Was out bummin around on my Honda Grom. Rolled by the qwik trip near me and saw my good friends bike parked on the side of the building not by the windows ( lunch time, lot was full). Figured I’d pull in and see what he was up to. I pulled over by where he parked and to my utmost surprise HIS BIKE WAS STILL RUNNING!!! Hehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!
The Loki god of mischief mask shadowed my brain almost instantly. It wasn’t even a question anymore, parked my grom in the spot left it running hopped on his bike and rocketed out of there LMAO!!!!! I didn’t bring it back to his house for a good 2 hours, only had one text from him on my phone and it was only one word ____! Any guesses 😉
And for the inquiring minds out there the bike of his that I left my grom in place of was a Ducati Panigale 1199
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Last edited by Couchlife; 09-30-2018 at 11:50 PM. Reason: Typos
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post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-01-2018, 04:37 AM Thread Starter
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Joke of the day,

What are the three best things about mother's milk .
1 It's free

2 It comes in cute containers

3 The cat can't get at it.
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post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-01-2018, 11:32 AM
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Folks that have been married for a long time, you know what I mean: often things just pop out of the pie hole so quickly that, well, it happens. My wife and I have running gags that never fail to make us giggle, even decades later, from such episodes. True story:

At 5'4", 110 lbs my wife was having a particularly difficult time getting into my Ford F150 4x4 one slippery day. When she finally got plopped down in the seat she said something about her "old, fat ass." Being the dutiful husband I promptly replied, "honey, you're not old!" I instantly realized that given the choice between "old ass" and "fat ass" one should always choose the former.

So now, after all these years, when she complains (as wimmins often do) about putting on a little weight I just smile and say, "honey, you're not old."

So, fellas, got any stories like that?
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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-01-2018, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rbentnail View Post
Folks that have been married for a long time, you know what I mean: often things just pop out of the pie hole so quickly that, well, it happens. My wife and I have running gags that never fail to make us giggle, even decades later, from such episodes. True story:

At 5'4", 110 lbs my wife was having a particularly difficult time getting into my Ford F150 4x4 one slippery day. When she finally got plopped down in the seat she said something about her "old, fat ass." Being the dutiful husband I promptly replied, "honey, you're not old!" I instantly realized that given the choice between "old ass" and "fat ass" one should always choose the former.

So now, after all these years, when she complains (as wimmins often do) about putting on a little weight I just smile and say, "honey, you're not old."

So, fellas, got any stories like that?
5'4" , 110 pounds .... fat? Gimme a break. LOL

Just keepin' up with traffic, Officer.

'13 FJR1300
'99 ZRX1100
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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-07-2018, 07:09 AM
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My then-girlfriend/now-wife and I, long before we got married, would get together for some downtime on Sunday evenings. We'd often ride over to Shoney's for some strawberry pie and wind down from the busy week and busier weekend. Well, there we were, in a little 2 person booth, pie and coffee served, people all around. As we're yakking away, she lets out a great yawn and says, "I could just go down" meaning of course "I could just go lay down somewhere and take a nap." Me being the ever-dutiful yes-man just smiled and said, "OK" and started slowly sliding down in the seat.

It's been at least 20 yrs and that one still pops out now and then. Not only did we get a great laugh but so did everyone within earshot around us. Little insights like how a prospective partner handles public embarrassment go a long way in a relationship eh?

Russ
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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-07-2018, 07:18 AM
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Here's an oldie that cracks me up every time!

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.

DAD: Son, where were you today during school?
SON: At school *robot slaps son*
SON: Ok, I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*
SON: Ok, it was A Day with a Porn Star.
DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was. *Robot slaps dad*
MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son, *Robot slaps mom*
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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-07-2018, 07:22 AM
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A little girl was eating a snack cake & watching her daddy get a haircut.
The barber warned her, "you're going to get hair on your Twinkie".
She said "I know, and I'm gonna get ti*ties too!"
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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-07-2018, 07:42 AM
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A good friend and riding buddy of mine was reading the paper one morning when his teenage daughter asked him if her pants made her butt look big. Being totally into an article in the paper he replied without thinking, "Well, not as big as your mom's." He said neither his wife nor his daughter talked to him for a week after that one.

Don't squat with your spurs on!
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